Friday, February 22, 2013

Twins Headlines Turned Into Oscar Movies: 2013 Edition

Over the last two years, one of the most popular posts at NoDak Twins fan has been an annual occurrence at this time of year. I love the Oscars and I love Twins baseball so this is my attempt to combine both of these things.

In these posts, I take the plot from all of the nominees in the Best Picture category and I connect them to a Twins story line. The first time I did this back in 2011 there were some funny results since the team was coming off a positive year in 2010. The 2012 version wasn't as light hearted since the team had been terrible the previous year.

Here are this year's nominees. Lights, camera, action...

Plot Summary: Georges and Anne are in their eighties. They are cultivated retired music teachers. Their daughter, who is also a musician, lives abroad with her family. One day, Anne has an attack. The couple's bond of love is severely tested.

Twins Plot: Most of Minnesota has latched onto the Twins since their first championship in the 80's. The team has been under attack the last few years and this has resulted in poor play on the field. The bond of love between fans and the team will be severely tested.

Plot Summary: A dramatization of the 1980 joint CIA-Canadian secret operation to extract six fugitive American diplomatic personnel out of revolutionary Iran.

Twins Plot: Six men are fighting for a role in the Twins starting rotation. It is a joint effort between Americans, Canadians, and even an Australian. There is a young revolution of pitchers on the way but that might not be happening in 2013.

Beasts of the Southern Wild
Plot Summary: Faced with both her hot-tempered father's fading health and melting ice-caps that flood her ramshackle bayou community and unleash ancient aurochs, six-year-old Hushpuppy must learn the ways of courage and love.

Twins Plot: Faced with the challenge of former health problems and the chance to enter free agency after the season, a Canadian first baseman must prove that he can regain his MVP former to get back to the top.

Django Unchained
Plot Summary: With the help of a German bounty hunter, a freed slave sets out to rescue his wife from a brutal Mississippi plantation owner.

Twins Plot: A Mississippi infielder must prove he can handle a new position after a brutal first year in the major leagues. He must hunt for a more consistent swing to stick with the big league club.

Les Miserables
Plot Summary: In 19th-century France, Jean Valjean, who for decades has been hunted by the ruthless policeman Javert after he breaks parole, agrees to care for factory worker Fantine's daughter, Cosette. The fateful decision changes their lives forever.

Twins Plot: In 21st-century Minnesota, Terry Ryan, who had taken a few years off from being General Manager, agrees to return to his former position to try and rebuild a crippled franchise. The fateful decisions he makes will change the franchise forever.

Life of Pi
Plot Summary: A young man who survives a disaster at sea is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery. While cast away, he forms an unexpected connection with another survivor; a fearsome Bengal tiger.

Twins Plot: A young man was close to making some life changing decisions before he is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery across the country. He is cast away to the Twins and fans will start to connect with the man known as "Vanimal."

Plot Summary: As the Civil War continues to rage, America's president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield and as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves.

Twins Plot: As a war wages over his future with the club, Minnesota's manager struggles with continuing carnage on the field and as he fights to put together a new coaching staff while trying to emancipate the team from their losing ways.

Silver Linings Playbook
Plot Summary: After a stint in a mental institution, former teacher Pat Solitano moves back in with his parents and tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. Things get more challenging when Pat meets Tiffany, a mysterious girl with problems of her own.

Twins Plot: After a stint recovering from Tommy John surgery, former first round pick Kyle Gibson moves back in with the big league squad and tries to reconcile his career. Things get more challenging when Kyle meets Mike, another pitcher with Tommy John problems of his own.

Zero Dark Thirty
Plot Summary: A chronicle of the decade-long hunt for al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the September 2001 attacks, and his death at the hands of Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 in May 2011.

Twins Plot: A chronicle of the decade-long debate over how much time Joe Mauer should spend behind the plate. The number one pick from 2001 is trying to prove he can get back behind the plate to be the player he was before 2011.

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