Friday, February 28, 2014

Twins Headlines Turned Into Oscar Movies: 2014 Edition

Over the last four years, one of the most popular posts at NoDak Twins Fan has been an annual occurrence at this time of year. I love the Oscars and I love Twins baseball so this is my attempt to combine both of these things.

In these posts, I take the plot from all of the nominees in the Best Picture category and I connect them to a Twins story line. The first time I did this back in 2011 there were some funny results since the team was coming off a positive year in 2010. The 2012 version wasn't as light hearted since the team had been terrible the previous year. Last year's rendition also offered some exciting results with some of the plots playing themselves out during the season.

Here are this year's nominees. Lights, camera, action...

12 Years A Slave
Plot Summary: In the antebellum United States, Solomon Northup, a free black man from upstate New York, is abducted and sold into slavery.

Twins Plot: In Twins Territory United States, Andrew Albers, a left-handed pitcher from Canada, is released and sold to a team in South Korea.

Plot Summary: A medical engineer and an astronaut work together to survive after an accident leaves them adrift in space.

Twins Plot: An assistant general manager and a front office work together to survive after an health issue leaves them without the team's general manager in spring training.

American Hustle
Plot Summary: A con man, Irving Rosenfeld, along with his seductive British partner, Sydney Prosser, is forced to work for a wild FBI agent, Richie DiMaso. DiMaso pushed them into a world of Jersey powerbrokers and mafia.

Twins Plot: A former first round pick, Aaron Hicks, along with trade acquisition, Alex Presley, is forced to work with a Hall-of-Fame hitter, Rod Carew. Carew pushed them toward the starting center field job with few knowing who would win.

Captain Phillips
Plot Summary: The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years.

Twins Plot: The true story of unofficial team captain Joe Mauer and the 2013 hijacking of his catching career by concussion issues of this former All-Star's brain, the first full-time position change of his 10-year carer.

The Wolf of Wall Street
Plot Summary: Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stockbroker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government.

Twins Plot: Based on the true story of Trevor Plouffe, from his rise as a former first round pick living the high life to his fall involving poor defense, inconsistent offense and the rise of Miguel Sano.

Plot Summary: A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that's designed to meet his every need. Could this relationship work?

Twins Plot: A lonely group of fans develop an unlikely relationship with their newly hired Hall-of-Fame coach that's designed to ease some tension in the coaching staff. Could he be the team's next manager?

Plot Summary: A world-weary political journalist picks up the story of a woman's search for her son, who was taken away from her decades ago after she became pregnant and was forced to live in a convent. 

Twins Plot: A loss-weary organization picks up three free agent pitchers as a team searches for their winnings ways, which were taken away after a decade of finishing near the top of the division.

Plot Summary: An aging, booze-addled father makes the trip from Montana to Nebraska with his estranged son in order to claim a million-dollar Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize. 

Twins Plot: An aging, long-tenured manager makes the trip from Florida to Minnesota with his estranged team in order to claim their stake to a share of the AL Central.

Dallas Buyers Club
Plot Summary: In 1985 Dallas, electrician and hustler Ron Woodroof works around the system to help AIDS patients get the medication they need after he is himself diagnosed with the disease. 

Twins Plot: In 2014 Minneapolis, outfielder and designated hitter Jason Kubel works around his minor league contract to help Twins Territory get the medication they need to score more runs after he is himself coming off a poor offensive year. The team has a fever and the only solution is more Kubel!

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